Conscious Cold Water Swimming
Billions of bright blades of sunlight pierce the surface of the azure blue sea as I part the refulgent water with the prayerful hands of breaststroke. The stunning scene captures my complete attention instantly as my quickened breath regulates to the cold water of the Açores in early spring. A few moments later, intrusive thoughts splash my mind.
I am swimming alone in the middle of the Angra do Heroismo bay, well beyond the shore. No one is visible in the bay or on the shore so I am really alone. The top meter of the water is crystal clear but the recent stirring of sediments obscures the bottom which I believe is about 6 meters below. I am not 45 years old anymore and I’m still rebuilding my physical health after an intense period of burnout. Only ten years ago, I had taken a 3 hour, very uncomfortable, camel ride with a silent Bedouin male guide along the Red Sea on the Sinai Peninsula and went swimming all alone without a second thought.
Then, I tell myself other truths to assuage the bubbling fears: “There were no jellyfish or caravela (Portuguese Man o’ War) on the shore today, the water and wind was calm, no one has ever been attacked by a shark in the Açores, and this is about the 120th time I’ve swam in the same waters without being harmed.” This daily swimming seems to be a simulation that stirs up my unconscious fears like a coffee grinder splitting coffee beans in the morning in preparation for a great fresh cup of coffee. It gives me an opportunity to face fears and find my deeper self in the great unknown-- while only walking steps from my apartment.
After 6 months of safely swimming, I am curious as to why scary thoughts and feelings continue to arise; however, I believe that if I keep building my physical strength and mental peace of mind, I can dissolve them. I refocus on the luminous light and coruscant colors to recenter myself. I flip on my back to change the scene and the pace. Focusing now on the brilliant blue sky and billowy cloud formations, I surrender to moments of pure blissful freedom in connection with the wild open planet. For a few seconds there are no thoughts at all; only a deep feeling of peace and surrender. I take about 10 strokes without counting and flip over again to examine the safety of the underwater world. Seeing only shades of deep aqua blue and light beams, I move into warrior mode, stroking freestyle with side breathing and slicing the water. I would like to swim like this forever but the increased speed doesn’t allow me to scout the distance that I feel comfortable with. Opposite to the surrender of backstroke, in freestyle I must focus forward with no regard to lurking creatures beyond my vision. I can never sustain the freestyle stroke as long as I’d like while swimming alone, so I turn again to breaststroke and the calming rhythm of seeing and knowing what is before me. In this manner, I swim the length of the bay and return (about 485 meters) in about 15 minutes.
Before exiting the sea, I remove my wet suit as now I know what lurks around me. It is a clear day and I cool off my warmed body in a relaxing flow of cool sea water but leave my handmade booties on because I’m still afraid of stepping on camouflaged stingrays.(I almost stepped on one once but was told by locals it was a very rare experience). Savoring the feelings of deep relaxation and exhilaration, I slowly exit the water. Finally, I head towards the cold public showers to rinse off. Just before I start showering, a local teenage boy in swimming shorts approaches me with a question. In Portuguese, I think he says : “A água está boa? É seguro?“ which I guessed meant: “How is the water? Is it safe?” I replied with a traveler's sign language: a thumbs up gesture and a smile. A warmer feeling fills my body. He was the third person in a week to ask me about the safety of the water. I happily realize that I have become a local resident with information others can benefit from. As I leave “my beach” , I watch with enjoyment as he slowly enters the cold water. Even at a distance I could detect a look of peace and excitement on his face.
